DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

BY WALLACE CALEB BATES

Chances are, you are avoiding a difficult conversation. Every day, there are countless opportunities to engage with challenging topics — or to flee from them. I have engaged in numerous gut-wrenching discussions in the past year alone, so I understand the fear and pain that come with them. 

During my time in the BRIGHT Leadership Kentucky program — which aims to strengthen young eastern Kentuckians' capacities for leadership — I learned about having difficult conversations. They are often necessary. We must engage in thoughtful dialogue while respecting those with whom we disagree. There is no other path forward. 

There are different categories of such conversations, such as those we must have in our interpersonal circles (like resolving a business conflict, etc.) and those we must have as a society to curb division and seek common ground. Earlier today, I had one of those conversations — one that we especially like to avoid, where faith and politics collide. 

My aunt and I have different views on politics, and our skew is from left to right. As a registered independent, I have tried to stray from partisan politics, and I argue that she is much the same. However, our ideologies are different. 

For the past few months, we have tiptoed around the tough stuff: elections, policies, and the like. Tonight, we both spoke our truths, not to argue but to connect. 

At first, it felt tense. I felt vulnerable, and I am sure she did, too. Something shifted when we stopped trying to defend and instead focused on listening. I walked away feeling profoundly emotional and moved. Did we agree on everything? No. Do we agree on everything now? No. 

However, we found common ground in our shared humanity, and that alone felt like a step in the right direction. Jesus calls us to be peacemakers (see Matthew 5:9), and sometimes that means stepping into uncomfortable conversations with open hearts. It is not easy, but it is worth it. 

Pray before you speak, listen with empathy, and trust God to work in the tension. I type this after telling everyone to be quiet (jokingly, of course) — but I suppose the adage goes, "If you don't have anything nice [or constructive] to say, don't say anything at all." 

In Colossians 4:6, Paul spoke of a gracious speech, one seasoned with salt and sound reasoning. He also expressed in Galatians 6:9, "Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up." 

As we navigate these difficult times, I pray that God will give us the comfort, peace, and strength we need to continue. Let us lean into discomfort, trusting that God is everpresent during our tense times, guiding us toward more profound understanding and the unity that His spirit brings. Even the most challenging conversations have the power to transform not just our relationships but our hearts. 


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